I'm so sorry about everything. I never got to know one of my Grandpas and the other one died of cancer when I was in the 3rd grade. At least you get to spend time with him even though it breaks your heart. I never got to say goodbye to my Grandpa Daniel before he died. They didn't really tell me what was going on at the time. I have always hated visitations. I always cry, but they usually help me realize they are gone at least in body. I have found that when I don't go to a visitation or funeral, it makes it harder for my heart and mind to accept the death. I'm sure he will be at your wedding and you will feel him there. You and your family are in my prayers. May the Goddess help you through this hard time. I'm sending you lots of hugs.